OPERATION: Breakup
by tiffaninichole
Summary: Finalist in the Slash/Backslash 2 Contest! It's easy to say that Jasper & Edward hate each other because it's an absolute truth. Despite their mutual disdain, they agree to combine forces for one purpose: to break up their best friends. Will they succeed?


**SLASH BACKSLASH ONE-SHOT CONTEST**

**Story Name: OPERATION: Break-up**

**Pen name: tiffaninichole**

**Pairing: Jasper & Edward *happy sigh***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Jasper owns me.**

**To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2: http:/ www . fanfiction . net/c2/68069/3/0/1/**

xxxxxxxxxx

I tried to calm my shaking hand before it turned my phone into a useless pile of plastic shards. "That motherfucker stole my wallet, Bella!"

"Jas, calm down. We can go back to Eclipse tomorrow, okay? He's probably a regular."

"I'll fucking _kill_ him, I swear to Christ!"

"Jasper, you're not gonna kill anyone, okay? Just try and calm down."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. There were only three things that could make me feel better right now: Bella, absinthe and _Snakes on a Plane_. "Can you come over?"

"Um... I can't."

The fuck? We were never too busy for each other. _Never._

"Why the hell not? I need you."

"I have a date."

"Well, tell him you can't make it."

"No, Jas."

"What the hell, Bella? You're going on a date when I'm telling you I need you?"

"It's not like that—he's not some random guy, Jas. Emmett is special. And I'm tired of being lonely."

Ouch.

I wouldn't admit it out loud, but that shit hurt. How could she be lonely when she had me?

"Oh. I see how it is."

I heard her sigh heavily into the phone. "Jazzy, don't be like this."

She always called me Jazzy when I was upset in an attempt to butter me up—and it always worked.

Not this time.

"I'm not bein' like anything. I gotta go. Talk to you... whenever."

I hung up in her face without saying "bye" 'cause I knew that shit got on her nerves. And yeah, I may have been acting like a pissy toddler, but I couldn't give three fucks about that.

We were always there for each other, no matter what. When she got dumped by Jacob who'd claimed he found his soul mate via eHarmony, who stopped mid-fuck to go and console her? Me. And it was a _damn_ good fuck, too.

But I didn't even think twice about it. My best friend needed me so I went to her. End of story.

That's how it had always been between us—stop anything at the drop of a hat when the other was in need.

But now she was pushing me to the side for some asshole who she'd never even mentioned before. _Emmett_. More like Stupidbitchmett.

She _always _told me about the dudes she was seeing but I hadn't heard a peep about this dick. It was like I didn't even know her anymore.

Whoever this fucker was, he needed to go. He was making my Bella turn into someone who was... _not _my Bella, and I didn't like it. Not one fucking bit.

xxxxxxxxxx

After being a shitty friend, Bella came over to apologize and suck up with tequila. Good times.

Even though we made up, I didn't know why the fuck I agreed to this. A goddamned double date with Bella's new boy toy and his best friend. She promised that the best friend was hot and just my type but I was still leery as hell. The only reason I'd agreed to it was because Bella pouted. Fucking _pouted._ Damn master manipulator.

In the three weeks that had passed since we made up, Bella never shut the fuck up about this lame Emmett dude, so I figured the double date would be a good chance to meet him. And by "meet him," I mean intimidate and possibly beat the shit out of him.

Of course I didn't tell _her_ that.

Bella and I drove to the restaurant together; the two douches would meet us there. And I complained the whole way, becoming more irritated with every word that came out of my mouth.

"I mean, I shoulda known the sneaky son of a bitch was up to something, Bells. He _looked _like a sneaky, thieving bastard."

"I know, Jas."

If anyone else had used that patronizing tone with me, I would have busted their lip. Since this was Bella, I pretended I didn't hear it.

"'I have to use the bathroom,' he says. Pffft, yeah, bathroom my ass! Klepto motherfucker. I'm gonna find his ass. I'm gonna find his ass and fuck up his life."

I remembered that night at the club. I was entranced with him, especially his hair. I was fascinated by his hair. I thought the color was extraordinary and wracked my horny brain trying to come up with an adequate word for the disarray sitting on top of his head. Copper? Bronze? Vermilion?

Well, now that I wasn't being driven by my dick, no fancy adjectives were needed. That sloppy shit was _red._

I'd gone back to that damn club every weekend since that piece of shit stole my wallet. No one had seen or heard of him. Treacherous cunt.

As I pulled up to the place, I was more than ready to fracture someone's face.

Bella put her hand on my arm and squeezed. "You have to calm down, Jazzy."

I took a deep breath to center myself. It didn't work. "I know. I'm calm. I'm okay."

While heading toward the entrance, Bella started gushing about Emmett, and I zoned the fuck out, not paying attention to what she was saying or where we were walking.

"... name is Edward. There they are!"

I looked up and everything suddenly slowed to a lethargic pace. My vision narrowed and the only thing I saw was _him_. The pickpocket bastard who was about to get the ass kicking of his life.

My feet took it upon themselves to run after the fucker and his face changed from smiling to confusion to recognition as I pulled my fist back and bombed on his ass. Blood sprayed out of his bitch nose as I pulled back and prepared to punch him again.

"Give me back my fucking wallet!"

I was on a mission. A mission to show this fucker my hands and the damage they could do when my shit was fucked with.

Before my fist could once again make love with his face, I was being pulled back and tossed to the ground by someone with comically fat, beefy fingers. And then Bella was in my face.

"Oh my God! What the hell is wrong with—"

She couldn't even finish that sentence before I was sucker punched in the jaw and that shit hurt more than a little bit. I think I heard screaming but I wasn't paying attention to that. This fucker hit me while my back was turned. Fucking. Bitch.

"_Motherfucker!"_

I grabbed my face and turned around to see the Red Baron being held by Hulk, struggling to break free.

"Pussy ass bitch. Why don't you fight me like a man?"

I knew I sounded like one of those Jerry Springer guests that everyone loved because they were so trashy and loud. But I truly didn't give a fuck. The bastard stole my wallet _and_ sucker punched me!

Ginger struggled some more after my egging him, but it was useless because that big fucker holding him looked mega-ultra strong.

"Call me a bitch again, Blondie, I fucking _dare_ you!"

I started walking closer to him, ready to go Mike Tyson on his ass. "The fuck you gonna do... _bitch?_"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Jasper, I can't believe you!"

Bella was holding an ice pack, gently pressing it onto my bruised jaw while I sunk into my couch. I took pride in the fact that I only had a little boo-boo while the Redheaded Con Artist had a broken nose and two black eyes.

The police had shown up and Edward the Thief had really played up the whole victim thing while being questioned by visibly shaking and making his voice waver like he was on the verge of tears. But whenever no one was looking, he'd smirk at me or point and laugh silently and switch back to being sullen and shaken when the cops turned back around.

No one believed me when I told, either, which made me look a little bit more asshole-ish and a lot more like a petty tattle-tell. They were convinced I was a gay hater and when I told them I couldn't be a gay hater, 'cause I _was_ gay, they looked at me with disgust because apparently I was a self-hating homophobic gay dude. Of course Edward ate that shit up, bending over and slapping his knees in amusement like the dick that he was. And when he was caught in the act, he'd said he was shaken and just trying to catch his breath.

Fucking con artist.

"He stole my fuckin' wallet, Bella. What was I s'posed to do? You know how hard it was for me to replace my driver's license, my credit cards, my fuckin' social security card!"

"Talk about it like a grown man, that's what you were _supposed_ to do."

"Real men don't talk, they take care of business. He stole from me and I took care of it. Bet he won't steal my wallet again."

"Oh my Jesus, you—I just really can't deal with you right now. You've ruined our date night—you beat up Emmett's best friend!"

I thought about saying something along the lines of "Fuck Shrekmett _and_ his bitch-ass friend," but I kept it to myself.

xxxxxxxxxx

I was gonna have to build up a tolerance for Bella's pout, 'cause this was just ridiculous. How she talked me into going to some festival as a third wheel with Emmett, I didn't know.

Well, I _did _know part of the reason. Since she'd started seeing Emmett, Bella had hardly come around and I was missing the shit out of her, so I jumped at the first opportunity to spend time with my best friend.

While walking to the front gate of the festival I noticed _two_ people waiting for us.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Bella, that better not be who I think it is."

"It'll be good for you! You two need to get along because you're gonna be seeing a lot more of each other."

"Uh, no. No the fuck we're _not_."

"Jazzy, me and Em? We're serious and this means a lot to me."

"Nope. Don't care."

I turned around and headed back for the car. There was no way—_no fucking way_ I was gonna spend a day with the Ginger Thief.

"Emmett will pay you $500!"

My ears perked up and I stopped.

"_And,_" she continued, knowing she had me where she wanted me. "He has five box seats at the Seahawks stadium that you're free to use whenever you want. Think about it... _all _of the big games and you'll be _right there_."

Dirty Trollop.

"You don't fight fair, you know that?"

I may be gay, but I loved the hell out of football. Especially my 'Hawks. Last season, a radio station was giving out 'Hawks tickets to anyone who would lick a public toilet seat and eat a few pigeon testicles... so yeah, I'd do pretty much _anything _for tickets.

I walked back toward the festival, quoting Ghandi in my head to keep from ripping Edward's face off.

"Wait," Bella stopped me. "You only get the money and the seats if you're good. You can do _no_ physical harm to Edward, got it?"

It was difficult not to growl or maybe even throw a tantrum. "Yeah. Got it."

"Promise?"

I rolled my eyes. "Promise."

"Promise what?"

"I promise I'll be good and not punch Edward's face in again even though the last time was really, really fun."

I felt like a fucking kid who was getting a guilt trip from his grandma.

Edward's eyes turned to slits when we approached and I was pretty fucking sure my face mirrored his.

Bastard.

"How's your face feel, _Eddie_? Healing nicely, I see."

Bella quickly elbowed me in my side and I took that as my cue to shut up.

"Never been better. How's life going? Still hating the gays?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but got the elbow again and promptly shut it.

We paid our fares and went through the gates after a little tiff between Emmett and myself. He'd wanted to pay Bella's fare but that was my job. I _always _paid for her when we went places together and now was no exception just because _he _was there. I won the argument, of course, 'cause I'm the best friend and what I say goes. _Fucker_. Bella and Emmett held hands while standing between Edward and me. They were giggling and whispering and exaggeratingly swinging their entwined hands and giving each other those stupid googly eyes. Basically, they were making everyone in our vicinity nauseous.

Even though we were separated by two bodies, the tension was palpable and was fraying my nerves.

"Where's my wallet, Edward?"

"Don't know what you're talking about, Jasper."

Lying piece of pig shit.

Just when I was about to lose it, I noticed Edward was slowing his stride until he eventually stopped. Bella and Emmett stopped to see what was going on and in turn, I was forced to stop as well.

Edward looked at me, determination all over his lying, bitch face. "Jasper, can we talk?"

Bella and Emmett's eyebrows simultaneously shot into their hairlines. _My _eyebrows lowered in suspicion.

The fuck?

"What the fuck is there to talk about? My wallet?"

"Just... can we just _talk_?"

Bella moved to my side and looked at me with those big ol' puppy dog eyes. "Please, Jazzy. Just talk to him for a few minutes... the _seats._"

I realized right then and there that her master-manipulator ass was gonna milk this shit for all its damn worth. And I was fucking powerless 'cause there was no way I'd turn down those seats over Pickpocket Eddie.

"Fine. You got about five minutes, Ginger."

Bella and Emmett walked off smiling all goofily and talking about going to the Tunnel of Love.

Once we were alone, Edward gestured at an empty bench and we both sat down. I took the initiative.

"Give me my wallet."

"I don't have your wallet. Look, let's make this quick. I don't like you; you don't like me, agreed?"

I looked at him like he was a dumbass because, uh, no shit, Sherlock.

"Well, I think it's safe to assume that you don't want Emmett and Bella together about as much as I don't want them together."

That surprised the hell out of me since he'd never shown any animosity toward Bella. "What the hell are you talking about? Why don't you want them together?"

"All girls are the same. Money hungry. And Emmett has plenty of money which brings around lots of girls like Bella. Not to mention the fact that _you're _her best friend, which speaks volumes about who she is as a person. Birds of a feather and all of that."

Oh, this motherfucker was _asking_ for it.

"You talk about her like that again and I'll fuckin'—."

"God, calm down. See what I mean? So trashy. She's probably the same way and Emmett deserves better."

"Deserves _better_?" I. Was. Pissed. "_Emmett _couldn't get any better if he went up to fucking Mount Olympus. I've seen _Emmett's_type. Motherfuckers like him are shit. Cheating, lying, conniving, arrogant bastards. And judging by the company _he_ keeps, I'd say my assessment is pretty fuckin' accurate."

Edward smiled smugly. "So it looks like we both want the same thing. And it's a plus that I'll never have to see your face again."

"You'd better _hope_ you never see my face again."

"We need to break them up." He ignored my threat. Smart man. "Plant seeds of doubt in their heads."

"Or seeds of _truth_ in my case, since your friend's an asshole."

"So you're game?"

"Hell and yes."

xxxxxxxxx

We were out shopping for an outfit for Bella to wear for a special date she and Emmett were going on the next day. She wouldn't shut the fuck up about his ogre ass; Emmett this and Emmett that. Like I gave a motherfuck. But I kept my mouth shut and listened, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

I tuned in just long enough to hear something about Emmett having a bunch of friends at his place to watch a game. Ding! Ding! Ding!

I nonchalantly picked a blouse off of a rack and put it against her chest. "So, does he do that a lot?"

"What?"

"Have a bunch of Neanderthals over, screaming at a TV and making a mess... I just wonder... nothing, it's nothing."

I hung the blouse back on its rack and walked off... and Bella came after me like I knew she would.

"What, Jasper? What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "It's just that it seems like when he's not playing XBox, he has a bunch of his buddies over to watch sports—"

"He doesn't do it _all_ the time."

"No, but weren't you supposed to go out tonight? But he cancelled so he could hang out with his buds and drink beer—"

"They're his college friends; he hasn't seen them for a long time—"

"Just seems like it's all about _him_. Have _you_ ever cancelled on _him_? Have _you_ ever picked what you two do?"

"Well—"

"And imagine if you lived together! He'd probably expect you to clean up the beer pong and nacho cheese puddles that he and his friends left behind. Seems like the type who'd want you quiet, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen."

She bit her bottom lip in thought. "You think so?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just a few observations I've made, no big deal. Hey, look at this skirt!"

For the rest of the day, Bella was distracted and as soon as we got to her place two hours later, she went into her bedroom, closed the door and called Emmett_._

I sat on the couch waiting for the blowup and giggled like a twink when I heard her yelling from the living room that he was a sexist asshole.

Buh-bye, Emmett. Have a nice life, buddy.

xxxxxxxxxx

"What the fuck? How could she have _not_ seen it?"

Edward and I had been at it for over a month, meeting in secret and concocting plans to break up our best friends—but nothing would fucking work. They'd argue, make up and spend the rest of the day sporting those dumb googly eyes which led to me wanting to kill myself multiple times.

At one point, we'd gotten so desperate that we met at his place and Googled "how to break up a couple," taking notes and scheming on what we'd do next.

Yeah, none of that bullshit worked. Stupid internet.

Oddly enough, the more time I spent with Edward, the more I kind of didn't hate him.

"I don't know," Edward sighed loudly, clearly feeling as frustrated as I was. "I slipped the number in his pocket but I guess she washed his pants without checking the pockets first."

"Fuck, Edward! I give you _one_ fucking thing to do and you get pwned by a washing machine. God, you suck at life."

"Shut up, asshole. You've messed up plenty of times yourself so don't get self-righteous on me."

He was right of course, but he was fucked up if he thought I'd ever admit that shit out loud.

"Just shut the fuck up and give me the list."

We'd made an extensive list of all of our plans and quickly ran through them all. The _"chick's number in Em's pants pocket"_ was our last idea out of the 164 schemes we had come up with.

We'd had a lot of blunders, but there were a few that were fails of epic proportions...

#5: _Make Bella gain weight._

I started bringing Bella dinner every night, the most fattening shit on the planet and always followed up with diabetic-shock-inducing desserts. Triple Butter Caramel Cake, anyone? On her lunch breaks during the week, I'd bring fattening shit disguised as healthy food and ice cream shakes that had no less than a billion calories, loads of protein and five pounds of sugar each. She'd gained ten pounds in three weeks and was devastated... until Emmett gushed about how sexy she looked and went on and on about how he couldn't wait until she got fat with his babies. They practiced making said babies for an entire week straight.

#42: _Hack into Em's Facebook account and change his relationship status to "single."_

I was in a rush, trying not to get caught at Emmett's computer and hurriedly clicked the "single" option. Turns out I'd accidentally hit "married" and Bella damn near creamed herself with happiness. They then decided to move in together.

#17: _Put lipstick on Emmett's collar_.

Edward's dumb ass ended up using _Bella's _lipstick, so when she found it and noticed the familiar color, she gushed over how hot it was that Emmett wanted to keep her lipstick on his shirt for the world to see. They exchanged promise rings the next day.

#139: _Use Voodoo_

Yes. We were serious. And the only thing that came out of it was Edward being rushed to the hospital because he'd stabbed himself in the cock with the Voodoo doll needle.

Edward sighed again. "So what are we gonna do? We've tried everything."

"Obviously not _everything,_ 'cause they're still together."

"We need a new plan."

"Something rotten."

"Foul."

"Two-faced."

"Ruthless."

"Dastardly."

"Treacherous."

We looked at each other, both of us smiling deviously and in perfect unison, agreed, "Trifling."

xxxxxxxxxx

Bella and I were sitting on her couch watching _Pretty in Pink_ because she's a total lesbian for Molly Ringwald. Today was the day, if all went as planned, that Bella and Emmett would be no longer. I was just waiting on the call from Edward to give the go-ahead.

"Blaine sucks. I would so do Ducky."

"I know, right?"

My phone rang and even though I was hyped on the inside, I stayed as calm as possible on the outside.

"Hmm. I wonder who this could be. I'm not expecting any calls or anything. Let me answer my phone and see who it is because I'm not expecting a call at all. Hello?"

_"Hey, it's me. It worked!"_

"What? What on earth do you mean?"

_"They're at the Days Inn and they drove his car. Room 21."_

"GASP! NO! Not _Bella's_ Emmett! How could that be?"

Bella's attention quickly turned from the movie to me when she heard Emmett's name. Perfect.

_"God, you suck. Can you try and be at least a _little_ convincing? You're worse than Kristen Stewart."_

"Peter, I do not believe you. I just do not! You are a big, fat liar and I will never believe you! I'm hanging up now!"

I dramatically threw my phone and took a swig of beer.

"Um. Who was that?"

"Oh, nobody. Just rumors, stupid rumors."

"Well, yeah, but... what'd they say?"

"Bella, it's not important. Ooh, I _love_ Otis Redding! Ducky can lip synch his ass off."

"Jasper! Tell me right fucking now!"

I put a pained look on my face and turned toward her, taking her hands in my own. "That was Peter. He said he's staying at the Days Inn and Emmett pulled up with some super hot, sexy, luscious, tall, skinny, Victoria's Secret looking blonde and they've been in the room for a while."

"What?"

"It's just rumors, don't believe it."

"Fuck that. We're going." She hopped up and threw on some shoes.

"It's no big—"

"What's the room number?"

"Twenty-one. Let's go."

xxxxxxxxxx

It had been three weeks. Three weeks of Bella staying in with the blinds pulled spending her days crying and wondering what she'd done wrong.

We'd succeeded. Edward had found an ex-classmate of Emmett's named Rosalie and got her drunk off her ass at a bar that we knew Emmett would be at that night. Emmett ran into her and being the gentleman he was, drove her back to her hotel room.

Apparently Bella busted in the door and her boyfriend was in a very compromising position. Of course, Edward and I knew that he was taking off Rose's clothes because she'd puked all over them. He was being nice and helping out an old friend. But Bella didn't know that and she wasn't trying to hear anything Emmett had to say.

They were through.

At first, I was over the moon, on top of the world, doing the jig on cloud nine.

Now? Now I wasn't too sure this was a good idea. Yeah, I had my best friend back, but she was miserable and her heart was broken. I'd never seen her like this and it worried me.

Maybe Emmett wasn't such a bad guy after all.

"What did I do, Jas?"

Bella was spread across her stinky bed laying her matted head on my lap going through another bout of tears.

"Why did he cheat on me? What did I do? I did nothing but love him."

I handed her another tissue and she sloppily blew her nose, lazily throwing the snotty paper to the floor when she finished.

"What's wrong with me? Why do I always find the guys who treat me like I'm nothing? Why am I not lovable, Jas?"

I spent the whole day with her like I did most days, making sure she ate enough to keep her from dying or something. She didn't eat much but it was better than nothing.

My poor girl was losing weight and developing insane bags under her eyes. Not to mention she smelled like hot dog water.

After crying herself to sleep, I tucked Bella in and stepped into the next room dialing the one person who could help me.

_"What's up?"_

"I don't think this was a good idea."

_"Yeah, I think we fucked up."_

"Me too. Bella's miserable; she's doing real bad."

_"Emmett too. He's a mess."_

I sighed. "So... I guess we should get them back together, huh?"

"How?"

"Fuck, I don't know, but we have to do something soon."

We talked for about an hour until we came up with something that could work. I hung up feeling good, feeling that this could possibly end very well.

At noon the next day, a delivery boy knocked on Bella's door to deliver a card. Bella refused to even look at it, so I read it out loud to her. I really didn't need to read it, 'cause I already knew what it said, but I had to keep up the act.

"'Bella, baby, I miss you so much. I'm sorry. I love you. You're my everything and I'm empty without you. Please meet me at the Hilton at 7 PM tonight so we can talk. Room 214. Please talk to me.'"

Emmett's said something along the lines of: "Emmett, I'm ready to hear what you have to say, meet me at the Hilton tonight at 7 PM, room 214."

It took a helluva lot of convincing, but Bella finally agreed to go. I made her take a shower even though she really just wanted to go smelling like the goo between a hobo's toes. I also made her wear a dress and she wasn't happy about it but I pulled the best friend card, so she had to do what I said.

Bella made me promise to call her cell exactly thirty minutes after I dropped her off to make sure she was okay and to see if she would need a ride home. I'd hoped it wouldn't come to that. Hopefully, Emmett had the sense to thoroughly explain what happened. Maybe he'd propose to her. Chicks dig that.

We got to the hotel at 7 PM sharp, and she was really nervous as I basically manhandled her into the room and slammed the door, shutting her inside.

I went back to my place feeling pretty damn good about myself.

Edward looked up at me from the couch and snarked, "About time."

We'd decided to meet up at my house until the besties called us with news. Hopefully good news.

"Shut the hell up. We were _on_ _time_."

"Emmett dragged me to the hotel at five o'clock to make sure he wasn't late. I've been sitting here for seven eternities."

"Oh, Jesus, shut up. You're such a damn dramatic girl. And where the fuck is my wallet?"

Before he could respond, my phone rang. It was Bella's ringtone.

"Bella?"

"Jas... I'm... oh... um... I'm okay. No ride. Don't need a—ohhh God..."

"Got it. Bye."

I hung up. So fucking gross.

I looked at Edward and rolled my eyes. "They're fucking."

Edward snorted. "Who does that? Who makes up that fast?"

"What grown man snorts?"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck _you_. Where the fuck is my wallet?"

"Fuck _you_, I don't have your retarded wallet."

I lunged right for his fucking throat but he ducked out of the way and tripped me, knocking me on my ass. We tumbled around the living room, each of us trying to get the upper hand, putting each other in crazy pretzel poses and breaking everything in the room.

Finally gaining some leverage, I got my arm around his throat and squeezed. "My. Wallet. Is. Not. Fucking. Retarded."

"Fuck. Your. Wallet." He wheezed out before doing some kind of shimmy, and I somehow ended up on my back with him straddling me and holding my arms down.

I tried getting free, but my arms were dead. I just needed to rest really quickly then I would fuck his shit up. I needed to work on my stamina just a little.

"Give me my wallet."

I was really out of breath, but I tried to breathe normally so he wouldn't hear how winded I was.

He looked down at me and I noticed his eyes. Cumcumber green. So... _pretty. _"I don't have your wallet."

"You do."

Apparently my cock didn't get the memo that I hated this motherfucker because it was slowly stiffening under the weight of him.

His face inched closer. Close enough for me to see the slight stubble peppering his jaw. "I don't."

"Liar."

Close enough for me to feel each puff of breath he exhaled.

"Jasper..."

His lips were on mine and my eyes widened in shock. Edward was kissing me with his surprisingly soft lips, moving them heatedly against mine. And I liked it.

His fingers inched up my arms and entwined with mine, slightly squeezing my hands as he opened his mouth to me. Our tongues were immediately gliding, flowing, _tasting_ and I moaned into his mouth when his hips ground into my own.

We found a hasty rhythm as our cocks rubbed together through our jeans. Our hands were wild, caressing everywhere and nowhere because they weren't where we needed them. I flipped on top of him and took charge, unbuttoning his pants, lifting the hem of his shirt and kissing my way down, licking the defined muscles of his hips as his hands buried themselves in my hair.

My dick was so hard, throbbing, almost painful in the confines of my jeans and his loud, shameless moans were definitely gonna make me come soon.

I let my guard down and ended up on my back, clawing at the fabric that covered his torso, needing it off, needing to see more of him.

My shirt was over my head and his quickly followed. Our breathing was frantic as we tried to kiss and grab anywhere we could reach, lips, jaws, necks, asses. I moaned when his stubble scratched against my nipple and my dick throbbed when it was followed by his tongue.

His fucking tongue.

So warm, so wet, so eager.

My pants were unbuttoned, unzipped and ripped off and he didn't waste any time as his pretty lips wrapped around my cock.

"Oh... God."

He hummed around me and moved a free hand to my balls, gently cupping and massaging them. I felt my dick hit the back of his throat and his teeth gently scraped me as his head continued bobbing up and down.

His tongue. Oh, God, his tongue was swirling around my head and flicking the tip and sliding across my length. And he was taking me, all of me, humming in contentment.

He was tightly gripping the base of my cock, moving his strong hand to the flow of his mouth, twisting his fist back and forth around me, creating conflicting sensations.

I looked down and my balls tightened, my insides coiling as I watched his plump lips engulf my dick, leaving the skin of my shaft glistening with every upstroke.

As badly as I wanted to come in his mouth, as badly as I wanted to feel him swallowing around me and drinking me in, I wanted to come inside of him. I wanted to hear him moan as I entered him, to feel his tightness surrounding me, to see his face as he came beneath me.

I grabbed his face to guide him back up to me and mashed our lips together in heated passion, peppering kisses across his neck, his jaw, working my way up, nibbling on the flesh of his earlobe. "I want to feel you."

"Yes."

I rolled on top of him and pulled his pants down, slowly memorizing the definition etched into each muscle of his toned legs.

So fucking sexy.

"Lube." He was panting, his skin flushed with anticipation.

"Huh?"

"We need lube."

Oh.

"Oh! Fuck. Stay right there."

I sprung up and broke the world record getting to my room and grabbing the little bottle out of my dresser drawer. When I returned, Edward was just where I'd left him, lying spread out on his back, ready to give his body to me.

I lowered myself to the floor and hovered over him, gripping his cock and teasing it in my hand while I kissed him softly, squirting the slick lube onto my dick and fingers. His stomach clenched when I slowly pushed a finger inside of him, slipping it in and out before slowly adding a second. His hips began moving in tandem with my fingers as he gripped his thick cock and slid his hand up and down wildly. I could feel the heat coming off his body as I added a third finger savoring each sound that he made. I pulled my fingers out and grabbed my cock, slowly spreading the lube over my length, enjoying the slickness as my fist moved up and down.

Edward's eyes hooded as he watched me jerk off and I knew he was ready. I leaned over him and pressed my head against his entrance, but had to pause for a second. I needed to make sure I didn't hurt him if he was a virgin.

"Have you done this before?"

"Yes..." His reply was breathy, his voice husky and brimming with want.

Good, that was good.

It struck me then that this was the guy who stole my fucking wallet. Could I forget about my wallet and his thieving ways for the next forty-five minutes? As I slid my tip back and forth over his entrance and felt him grab my ass, pulling me closer, I decided that yes... yes I could  
forget.

As my head pushed past his opening, I bit into his shoulder to keep from coming right then and there. He felt... unreal. Too good. His hands went to my hair, gripping tightly and we both groaned loudly as I slowly pushed my entire length into him.

I pulled nearly all the way out and my eyes rolled in the back of my head when I was fully inside of him again.

Too fucking good.

I continued my careful pace, never tiring of the feel of him. How tight he was, how silky his lips felt ghosting against my neck, the pads of his fingers digging into my skin.

I started to move faster, being driven to the brink and back multiple times, letting the intensity build as he continued to clench around me.

My hips began slamming against his, skin slapping loudly, bodies heating, groans growing louder, movements becoming desperate. We were both panting, overwhelmed and needing more... more of fucking _everything_.

Too fucking good.

He lifted his legs, allowing me to slip deeper and I grabbed his stiff cock, working him in my hand, determined to make him come before I did.

Nothing but mumbles and gasps were coming out of his full lips and I knew he was close as I moved my hand and hips to the same frantic pace. Faster, harder, deeper, harder, faster, deeper.

Too fucking good.

So close.

I was pounding into him, reveling in the tightness, the heat, the pulsing when I was inside of him. Getting closer with each mewl and groan that I brought out of him.

Too fucking good.

"Jasper... fuck. I'm coming."

He started throbbing in my hand as his back arched, his nails dug, his neck corded, his stomach clenched and I gripped tighter as his face contorted beautifully.

I growled and drilled into him. "Fucking. Yes."

_I _did that to him. _Me._

I drove into him harder, watching in fascination as thick bursts shot onto his stomach, dripping onto my fingers. And I quickly followed, all of the air spilling out of my lungs as I throbbed and pulsed and released stream after stream inside of him.

"Holy shit."

My arms were close to giving out, so I rolled off of him and lay on the floor by his side as I basked in the tingles still shooting through my body.

That was totally unexpected. How did we go from hating each other to fucking each other? But that wasn't just fucking, was it? That meant something. I didn't know what the fuck it meant, but it was definitely something. Something more.

I decided to be a nice guy and break the ice… even though he stole my damn wallet. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"Sooo..."

"Umm..."

"That was really good."

"I'd say it was better than good."

"So... are we dating now or something?"

Because if we were gonna date, his ass needed to give me back my wallet.

He glared at me. "Well, I don't fuck just _anyone_, Jasper."

There he goes again, overreacting.

"That's not what I was—"

"What the hell?" I saw him reach for something out of the corner of my eye but didn't care what he was grabbing or that he cut me off in the middle of my sentence. I was too blissed out to give a damn. I took a deep breath and stretched, feeling pretty damn good.

Something solid slapped against my chest, startling the hell out of me and I looked down to see what it was.

"What the...?"

"It's your goddamn wallet."

I opened my mouth, prepared to have a total bitch fit because I _knew_ he fucking had it, but he cut me off before I could start.

"It was under your fucking couch."

Oh.

Oops.

xxxxxxxxxx

**A/N:**

**So I'm so nervous and hope you all enjoyed. This was my first slash and I hope I did butt secks justice because I love boys who have the butt secks :-) **

**I want to take a minute to thank JasperLuver48, Handsandfingers and coachlady1 for pre-reading and calming me down when I was freaking out/being a baby about this story.**

**coachlady1 also beta'd the hell out of this and made it sparkle and shine with her hot beta fingers.**

**Don't forget to vote! (when voting starts, of course.) **


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